Do you mind if... / Is it all right if...?

    Imagine you are staying with a family in Britain, the USA, Australia or some other English-speaking country. One evening you want to listen to some music. How would you ask your host family's permission to turn the stereo on?
       One phrase that many people use in this situation is:

    • Do you mind if I switch on the stereo?

    The family might answer this request by saying something like:

    • No, we don't mind at all. Go ahead. (*See note)
    • No problem. Feel free.
    • Not at all. Please do.

    Another way to ask would be:

    • Is it all right if I switch on the stereo?

    And the family might answer:

    • Sure. Go ahead.
    • Feel free. No problem.
    • Yes, certainly. Please do.

    Note:
    In both cases, the family is giving permission, but do you notice that we have 2 different sets of answers here. With Do you mind..." permission is usually given with a no (i.e. No, we don't mind). With Is it all right... permission is usually given with Yes, Sure, Certainly or some other positive sounding word.

Question

    We've just looked at how permission is given. But, what would the family say if they didn't want you to switch on the stereo? Well, they could say something like this:

    1. Do you mind if I switch on the stereo?
    2. Yes, we do mind.

    or:

    1. Is it OK if I switch on the stereo?
    2. No, it isn't OK.

    but these would sound very harsh. Can you think of a gentler way for them to refuse permission? Please click here to see my suggestions.

    For another lesson on a similar topic, please click onto this link: Saying "no" to invitations - the gentle way.

    Click here if you want to try some of my other one-point lessons.

    © Robert E. Jones, 2003